Friday, 7 November 2014


I have been reliably informed by sources that my blog's contents are for the light hearted. If you're looking for a laugh, skip this post right away. This - me posting this here - is completely selfish. Its for me and only me. Its not for the bereavement of the society at large - which is believe is turning to mush anyway. Don't read it. Watch as I don't give a shit. 
My Didun - my grandmother, my storyteller, my guide - was found hanging from the ceiling of our ancestral home in Kolkata. She was 86. Why, you ask -the few of you who are bothering to read - would someone take this step at 86, when their life is drawing to a close anyway? I'll tell you why.
Because its illegal here, in India, to have mercy killings. Its against the law to rid people of excruciating pain. Its a crime to fulfill what is some people's last wish. Well, she fulfilled her last wish her damn self. Didun - I salute you. They say cowards commit suicide. You're a queen. 
'They' do not know that you cried while taking your daily bath. That the only thing you truly looked forward to all day, was two hours of telly time.  That it killed you to turn around in bed, let alone to stand up and tie that noose around your neck. They do not know that you had a broken arm, while already suffering from osteoporosis.Yet, you picked up that stool, that I cannot pick up with both of my arms. They do not know that each day you woke up, you could feel your very bones literally being frayed away. That your bones were hollow from within. That you felt it all. That you were a mute spectator to the game your body was playing with you. They know nothing about pain, Didun. 
They don't know shit.
You're a queen. 
Rest in Peace.

Eternal Love,
Preetha and Reeju.


  1. you know who

    I won't say that I sympathize with you or know what you feel because I simply don't.Period.
    All i can say is this she definitely doesn't need to be saluted by me or someone else
    & be grateful that you atleast know she didn't have regrets before leaving.

    Don't mention it to me again.

    1. You know who,
      I never asked for sympathy. That wasn't the intention of putting this blog out to public, if that is what you think. It was a huge personal decision, and it cost me a lot putting into words what I went through.
      She does! She does need to be saluted - that is the whole point. That is why I put it out in the first place. People need to know that those who commit suicide aren't always necessarily weak - they can be strong and they need to be respected for that. I am not glorifying suicide, I am glorigying suicude under the circumstances she did it in. She did not escape from anything you know.
      Sometimes, death is not the easy way out, alright? That's just what I want to convey.

  2. Wow. The heart wants to say something, but the mouth has no words. I can only imagine what it would be like to be in her shoes, and I'd have probably done the same. My condolences though. RIP.

    1. I don't think any of us can imagine what it felt like to be in her shoes, actually. None of us, who're here with us at least.
      All those who know have probably moved on.

    2. i dont know what to all seems so powerful.i dont want to say much on this cause i dont feel wise or experienced enough to comment...its beyond the reach of many people in this world. but yeah...i do salute...but like the first guy said...she doesnt needs to be saluted...there is a meaning to it...dont misinterpret it.i would like to end it by saying that she departed like a soldier.

    3. Anant - I am glad you understand, that is all I will say.