Monday, 16 June 2014

Types of Students

Most people who read my blog are here because I send them the links on GMail followed with a " read it yet?" message every two seconds. So most people who read this post are my school friends and can probably relate to it quite well. To those who've passed out of school, lets take a trip down memory lane, shall we?

1. Ass Kissers
God do I hate these people. Do you remember those girls who wagged their tails every time a teacher smiled at them? Those kids that walked two steps behind the teacher carrying a hundred and two notebooks, those that had a 'special' " Good morning ma'am!" tone reserved for every damn teacher? Yeah - those are the people who deserve to be murdered with a machete. 
They are the kids who not only bothered to memorise the teacher's birthday, but also made her a giant big-ass card. 
And Teachers Day? That was field day for these people. Girls in my class used to prepare for that day. I mean you'd know it was Teacher's Day when there'd be twenty girls in your class arriving with forty-something roses, thirty - something boxes of candy, eighty - something cards and an infinite number of "we wuvv you ma'am"'s being spoken in extremely nasal tones. -_-

2. The Jocks Yo'!
These are the sports dudes. Now my school is one of those where if you are in the football team there is probably a shrine under construction to your name somewhere on the school premises. Jocks stroll the corridors like they own them, walking around showing everyone their "sweg". They are the typical back benchers with smoking addictions and eight girlfriends each. But there is one common characteristic prevalent among every jock I've come across till date - God are they dumb! I had the misfortune of having one of these said Jocks as my team mate in one of our group assignments last year and it was physically painful explaining to this guy the basics of hydrocarbons. *shudders*

3. The Nerds/ Geeks
Basically my people. (Hi guys!) I've written an entire rant about the various divisions and subdivisions in our species, here : . 
Shameless publicity Preetha. Tut-tut. 

4. The Mean Girls
Yeah I'm referring exactly to those girls in the Lindsay Lohan movie. These chicks breeze into class with impeccably applied makeup, their hair done all trendy, their French manicures in place, and here I am in my messy hair in a bun with my chipped nails staring at them wondering what the hell did I do wrong! 
Frankly I simply do not get these girls. I do not get why you would dress up so much - you clearly applied that foundation, powder, concealer, kajal, eyeliner, mascara, lip gloss and what not for no less than thirty minutes - to come to a non - airconditioned school, in the middle of July, in a place so hot that if I go out and crack an egg on the cement right now, I'll have a good plateful of scrambled eggs in front of me. 

5. The Casanovas
Basically the guy your mom warned you about. They are the heartbreakers, the players. They are the guys whose photo every girl kisses before going to sleep.(No - I do not generally fall into that category of girls. I'm usually the weirdo in the corner stuffing her face in the second period.) 
And God do they know the fact that they're heart throbs. Trust me when I say this - they take full advantage of that fact. One of these casanovas once approached me. He looks at me with half closed eyes. leans in towards me a bit as if tying to make my heart flutter. Now do not get me wrong - I'm straight. But its as if casanovas have no affect on me whatsoever. They can pout at me all they want and I will not even bat an eyelid. So this guy leans in and produces what he thinks is a throaty voice and goes all like, "Hey Preetha... Would you do my homework for me?" 
And I stare at him for two seconds like : 

Then I go back to my sandwich. 
These guys are the kind that expect you to fawn over them. This guy asked me to do his homework, and it was like he was doing me a favour. And they hate being turned down. 
Actually I think that is primarily why their kind hates me. 

6. The Social Zombies
These are the people who are absolutely inept at talking. It is not like they are introverts, they just crap their pants every time you say hi to them. I once said "Hello" to one of these guys, and seriously - it seemed as if he was in actual pain. His eyes started bulging in their sockets, his palms were quavering a bit, he was gulping trying to sink into the floor... just a pitiful sight to watch. Naturally these are the people whom everyone ignores. 
Creepy fact : These are the people who generally who generally turn into chainsaw killers. So be nice to them. For your future kids' sake. 

Anyways this was my take on various types of students. I know school often seems like a giant pain in the arse(it often is, actually) but all of us school - goers should try to cherish it while it lasts anyways. :) 


  1. *raises hand as an ass-kisser* Sorry!
    Quick question: How do you get your blog so popular? And can you recommend more funny stuff/writing blogs that I can follow?
    Thanks a bunch.

    1. Well atleast you admitted to the crime :P
      My blog ain't popular at all! Read the first para - only people I continuously pester read it!
      Well I'm pretty sure you read Rutvi's blog. There's which I found to be quite awesome.
      Check it out!

  2. An interesting and entertaining read as always, Preetha!
    I am definitely not an ass-kisser but I certainly don't see a problem with the good morning's for the teacher. I say good morning's to the teachers I like. To the one's I don't, I just ignore them even when they are staring at me waiting for their good morning's after they see me greeting some other teacher infront of them. :P

    I don't know what type I am. Neither, I guess.
    Preetha, what type are YOU? :D

    Aaand, agreed, all these types are really really annoying.

    After that guy asked you to do his homework, how many slaps did you give him?

    Entertaining read, once again. Keep going!

    1. The ass kissers are essentially the people who try to be on every god damned teacher's good books.
      I am a nerd through and through :3
      I didn't slap him, but I rejected an appeal to do his wok. That is an equivalent of a slap if nothing else :P